


Return to Never Neverland

by psychotraumatic



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, XiuHan - Freeform, lumin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-07 08:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11054715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychotraumatic/pseuds/psychotraumatic
Summary: Come back, Peter Pan. It’s just about time for us to return to Never Neverland.





	Return to Never Neverland

**Author's Note:**

> Secret Tumblr to AFF to AO3.

 

It was almost like clockwork now, how a knock would sound at his door in the middle of the night. He no longer needed to give his permission on whether or not to come in as whoever it was already knew he wasn’t going to be denied. All he had to do was scoot over to one side of his bed, draw the covers down, and wait.

“Minseok hyung,” came the whisper. A soft creak follows before revealing his nightly visitor. The younger’s eyes widens marginally at seeing his state. “I’m sorry, you were sleeping.”

“Yixing,” he interrupts. “It’s okay. You should know that by now.”

It had become routine how the dancer would come to his room. It started with late night meals, a bottle or two of soju, a story or ten of memories they both tried so hard to let go of, but fight to keep at the same time. The remember whens, the should haves, the what ifs – they were things the two of them share.

“Do you miss him?”

“Do you miss Yifan?” he retorts.

The Changsha boy’s unique giggles cause a few small vibrations to tickle his side. His eyes roll in knowing fashion. Of course Yixing would see no offense to it. Regardless their problematic situations, he was too kind to hold a grudge, easily seeing light, and willing enough to exert more effort to keep his heart intact.

“Have you moved on?”

It was a question he was expecting. It wasn’t like he was the first to ask. Though perhaps –  his angelic image be damned – Yixing was the only one with an ulterior motive for wanting to know. He sighs deeply before turning his back to the younger, muttering under his breath. “Every second I breathe.”

“What was that, hyung?”

“The answer to your first question.”

 

* * *

 

"Please don’t hate me.”

Those four words should have made him mad. They should have made him curse at the only person left he thought he could trust. They should have made him run for the hills. But instead of retracing his steps, he surged forward. Now he’s standing in front of a closed door, wondering if he’s ready to get his heart broken all over again.

He’d been stock still for several minutes now, hands in a nervous cycle of clenching and unclenching, mind and heart waging a battle on whether he should knock or not. He was a split second away from damning it all to hell and turning away when a click rang in his ears. Wide eyes bore at the knob as he listened to the lock’s mechanism turn loose. Frozen is how he found himself when the door finally opened, revealing a slight boy with a pair of sparkling eyes he fell in love with endlessly.

“Minseok.”

How much did he long to hear his name fall from those lips? How hard was it to try to forget how good it sounded? How stupid was he to think it was even possible? How much did he want his name to be chanted by that warm voice over and over again?

“Luhan.”

 

* * *

 

His back began to ache with how rigid he sat. No matter how familiar he was with the company, he couldn’t bring himself to relax. Perhaps the freshly pressed coffee did more damage to his nerves than its usual calming effect on him.

A cool touch to the back of his hand left him gasping for air. Fingers retreating quickly and a flash of fear pooling in warm brown irises had him blinking his eyes furiously. This was real – and he didn’t know what to do.

Minutes that felt like hours went by in silence. There was a lot that he wanted to say and do, but he had no clue where or how to start. He could only wonder what the other was thinking.

“I’m proud of you.” Out of a thousand things that raced through his mind, the string of four words that just left Luhan’s mouth wasn’t one of them. The confusion must have shown on his face as not a split second later did the other start with his litany.

A confused gaze follows as the other paced across the room as if he was pulling memories from every corner. He starts with how he had always admired the small boy with chubby cheeks ever since they met. How he was in awe of the quiet strength he displayed every waking moment despite all the criticisms that he had to hear and all the obstacles he went through. How it hurt to see him sad whenever an evaluation didn’t turn out the way he wanted, before being amazed at how quickly he recovered and resolved to do better, and being left even more astonished when he accomplished just that.

He spoke of how the years went on and how he appreciated the friendship he was offered. How that companionship kept him going. How ecstatic he was in knowing that they were going to be together on the journey towards their dreams.

He goes on to talk about how frustrated he was that one of the most wonderful people he ever came to know was ignored. How it angered him that no one can see just how precious a gem he was. How he wanted to make it his duty to show the world what he saw every day – a star brighter than anyone ever thought he could be.

“You’re shining, Minseok,” he finished. “Everyone’s finally seeing how amazing you are and I couldn’t be more proud of that. You’re even more wonderful now. Rest assured, you will always have a fan in me.”

He should have been flattered, but all he could do was scoff. “I don’t need another fan.”

He didn’t dare look in Luhan’s direction to know how his words must have cut.

“Minseok, I’m-”

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry,” he hissed, cutting the other off harshly. “You’re delusional if you even think it would mean anything now.”

The lump in Luhan’s throat was hard to swallow. He knew there was a lot he was at fault for, but he was hoping – no matter how small a sliver it was – that Minseok would be the calm man that he had always been. That he’d be the Minseok who listened to him through all his whining before guiding his head to lay on a sturdy chest. That he’d be allowed to hear a steady heartbeat and be free from all his worries. That he’d still be  _his_  Minseok.

It was a pipe dream; that he can now be certain of. He lost his Minseok the second he decided to leave.

Though the distance between them was no more than an arm’s length, it could have very well been the Great Wall. Unyielding. Unforgiving. Impenetrable. Luhan wanted nothing but to overcome it, but he was at a loss as to how.

He was ready to call Yixing back. Tell his best friend that it was a mistake to do this. That he needed to pick Minseok back up before the others get wind of his disappearance.

“I just need you.”

The sound of his phone clattering to the floor had him jumping back. He blinked hard, once, twice, three times before he mustered up the courage to face Minseok again. With eyes wide and a deep breath, Luhan’s heart hammered away at his chest at seeing a crooked smile, small as it was, lighting up the other man’s face.

“I remember this boy who followed me around like a lost puppy and looked at me as if I hung the moon. I remember playing a prank and asking him for money so we could have beef, except I asked for twice the price so I could eat more. He never got angry at me, only laughed with this ugly face that was actually quite endearing.”

He was speaking of simple beginnings. Things he’d like to deny ever really happened, but also happened to be memories he cherished the most. He could listen to Minseok talk all day, knowing he was a rare breed to even be graced with chatter from the other. And listen he did.

“I remember telling you how mad I was when you started calling me baozi on shows. It was fine with the others because that was our thing, but I never wanted that attention on me. I remember you laughing and throwing your face to the wind before telling me why you did it.”

Luhan bit down hard on his bottom lip as Minseok’s eyes glazed over. It was utterly unfair how, even with unshed tears, the smaller male was still the most beautiful sight to him.

“I began to hold you in a special light, to look at you as if the sun was born from your eyes, to  _love_  you like it was what I was made for.”

The Chinese boy squeezed his eyes shut, choking back a sob. His mind had long been in a fog but each memory came back to him clearly as if it happened just yesterday. Every look, every touch, every whisper – his head was filled with nothing but the Korean fairy.

“This is probably the most I’ve talked in my entire life and I feel like I’m rambling. I wonder why it isn’t like one of those stupid flicks that when someone yaps this much, the other person will shut them up with a kiss.”

Luhan’s eyes flew open, body going rigid as the weight of Minseok’s words sank in. Fearing his imagination conjuring up his wildest dreams, he slowly moved his gaze to the other, gasping as he met an intense stare heightened further by a dazzling smile.

“I want to hate you. I want to forget you. I want to move on.”

The sparkle in his eyes that he was once famous for dimmed to nothing. “So this is what heartbreak sounds like,” he muses.

“You’re not listening,” Minseok says, the corner of his lips turning up for that lopsided grin. “What’s the moon without his sun?”

Luhan felt like crying then and there. He could already taste the copper in his mouth from having gnawed at his lip excessively. He sucked in a breath as his once lover stepped closer, a small hand reaching up to pull his bottom lip free from his teeth. Glazed eyes wandered over broken skin.

“Kiss me,” he whispers. “Kiss me and mean it like you always have. Kiss me as if you want to take my very last breath. Make me yours again.”

Without even a second to blink, lips clashed against each other. A pair of hands held the other’s face steady while another gripped onto shoulders for dear life. There was no tenderness or romance involved in the kiss. Theirs was passion and anguish. All hurt, all regrets, all anger poured into one desperate action.

Luhan pulled away, albeit reluctantly, but he had one last thing he needed to let out of his system. He feared opening his eyes and possibly waking up from this beautiful dream, but seeing Minseok’s flushed face and swollen lips had him smirking instead. His thumbs grazed against the smaller man’s cheeks, willing him to open his eyes. Though glassy and unfocused, no one can deny the adoration that was swimming in those depths. Two watery smiles. Two hearts beating in sync. One soul finally finding both halves.

“For all its worth, I’m sorry.”

“I love you.”


End file.
